I came from the darkness only to become the light
- Eric J Herrholz
- 10 hours ago
- 3 min read
Losing a parent at a young age can shatter the foundation of a child’s world. For me, it was more than just loss. My father, Kenneth J Herrholz, was a man whose presence commanded respect and whose circle was even tougher. When he died in my arms at 13, the world seemed to turn against me. I was left alone, vulnerable, and spiraling into a life filled with trouble, drugs, and jail. At 14, I felt abandoned, used, and abused. Yet, from those dark places, I found a way to discover myself and hold onto the light.
The weight of loss and the spiral into darkness
Losing my father was not just losing a parent; it was losing my protector, my guide, and my anchor. Kenneth was no ordinary man. His toughness was legendary, and his circle was even tougher. Growing up around that strength, I learned lessons about resilience and survival. But when he passed, all that strength seemed to vanish.
Suddenly, I was left to navigate a world that felt cold and unforgiving. At 13, most kids are figuring out school and friendships. I was trying to hold onto life itself. The pain of loss was compounded by the harsh reality of abandonment. Without guidance, I fell into the wrong crowd. Drugs and jail became a cycle I couldn’t break. The world seemed to exact its revenge on me for my father’s death.
Feeling alone in a crowded world
Being alone at 14 is a heavy burden. It’s a time when you need support the most, yet I felt invisible. The people around me were not friends but predators who used and abused my vulnerability. It’s hard to describe the feeling of being surrounded by people but still feeling utterly alone.
This loneliness pushed me deeper into despair. I was lost in dark places, both physically and mentally. The streets became my home, and survival was my only goal. But even in those moments, a small part of me refused to give up. I clung to the faintest memory of my father’s strength and the lessons he taught me.
Discovering light in the darkest times
The turning point came when I realized that my past did not have to define my future. I started to see that the darkness around me was not the end but a challenge to overcome. This shift didn’t happen overnight. It was a slow process of self-discovery and healing.
I began to seek out positive influences, people who believed in second chances. I found support in unexpected places—mentors, uncles, and even a Mexican prison by 19. These helped me rebuild my sense of self and purpose.
Here are some steps that helped me find the light:
Acknowledging pain: Accepting my past without shame allowed me to start healing.
Seeking help: Reaching out uncles and mentors gave me tools to cope.
Setting goals: Small, achievable goals helped me regain control over my life.
Building new habits: Replacing destructive behaviors with positive routines created stability.
Finding purpose: Helping others who faced similar struggles gave my life meaning.
The strength of resilience and hope
Resilience is not about never falling; it’s about rising every time you fall. My journey from darkness to light taught me that hope is a powerful force. Even when everything seems lost, hope can guide you toward a better path.
Today, I carry my father’s lessons with me—not the toughness of his circle, but the strength to survive and grow. I am proof that no matter how dark the past, the future can be bright.
Moving forward with purpose
If you find yourself in a dark place, remember that light exists even in the smallest spark. Your past does not have to control your future. It’s possible to rise above pain and hardship with the right support and mindset.
For those who have faced loss, abuse, or abandonment, know that you are not alone. Reach out, seek help, and hold onto hope. Your story is still being written, and you have the power to make it one of strength and light.
