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Eric J Herrholz

When Advice Falls on Deaf Ears

Navigating the Frustration

It's a common scenario: someone turns to you for advice. They value your opinion, trust your judgment, and you offer your insights with the hope that it will help them. But then, to your surprise and sometimes frustration, they don't take your advice. This situation can be baffling and disheartening, but it’s a delicate dance that many of us find ourselves in.


Understanding the Dynamics

First, it's essential to recognize that when people seek advice, they're often looking for validation or exploring different perspectives rather than definitive answers. They might already have a course of action in mind and are testing their ideas against external opinions. When your advice doesn't align with their preconceptions, they might choose to follow their initial plan.


Respecting Autonomy

Everyone has the right to make their own decisions. Your role as an advisor is to provide your perspective, but ultimately, the decision is theirs to make. Respecting this autonomy can help mitigate feelings of frustration. It's important to remember that growth often comes from personal experiences, even if it means learning from mistakes.


Staying Supportive

Even if your advice isn't taken, continue to offer your support. People may return to you for guidance in the future, and maintaining a supportive relationship can be more valuable than whether they followed your previous counsel. Sometimes, the very act of asking for advice is a step toward greater openness and trust, even if the immediate outcome isn't what you hoped for.


Reflecting on Your Approach

Consider how you deliver your advice. Is it clear and actionable? Do you present it in a way that resonates with the person's values and circumstances? Reflecting on your approach can help improve how your advice is received. Sometimes, a slight adjustment in how you communicate can make a significant difference.


Communicating Openly

If it becomes a recurring issue, having an open conversation can help. Express your feelings in a non-confrontational way, letting the person know that you care about their well-being and want to understand their perspective. Open dialogue can strengthen your relationship and foster mutual understanding.


Embracing Patience

Patience is key. People might not take your advice immediately, but they could reflect on it later. Your words might plant a seed that takes time to grow. Trust that your input has value, even if the impact isn't immediately visible.


Concluding Thoughts

Giving advice is an act of care and concern. While it can be frustrating when it feels ignored, it's important to focus on the intention behind your advice rather than its immediate acceptance. By staying patient, respectful, and supportive, you can maintain strong relationships and provide valuable guidance, even if it's not always followed to the letter.


ERIC J HERRHOLZ Advice
When They Ask, And Do Not Listen!

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